


Four Letters to Rhodey that Tony Never Sent + One Letter from Rhodey that Tony Never Got to Read

by myheroesrbands



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Also it can be read as slash or just friends, I'm sorry?, This is literally an angst fest, take your choice
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 03:33:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 896
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21439531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myheroesrbands/pseuds/myheroesrbands
Summary: Tony Stark was never an eloquent writer — he wasn't an English major for a reason — but James Rhodes was the only person he would ever write anything for. Henceforth, he chose to write James in letter form (and then settled on James never finding the letters as his only sense of satisfaction). Here are four of the letters Rhodey never found. And one of the letters he decided to write in response.
Relationships: James "Rhodey" Rhodes & Tony Stark
Comments: 2
Kudos: 13





	Four Letters to Rhodey that Tony Never Sent + One Letter from Rhodey that Tony Never Got to Read

Dear James,

Today is December 16th, 1991. 

I know there is going to come a time where you’re going to think about this day and barely remember it and I know there will come a time where I’m going to think about this day and feel peace. 

That time isn’t now. 

Right now I’m angry at everything. I’m angry at the world, at me, at you, at dad. There’s so much blame to be placed that I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fully recover from the long-term implications of their deaths. Howard was- well he was Howard. He was a piece of shit but he was still my dad — the founder of Stark Industries and thus one of the world’s leading weapon manufacturers in the world. Again, he was a piece of shit but he was a genius. He made things that people couldn’t have even dreamed of and he changed the weapons industry and the thing I despise most about him as that it’s his name that will be universally remembered outside of this day and not Mom’s. 

Mom who deserved everything Howard didn’t give her. Mom who tried her very best to make sure that I was protected from Howard whenever he was in a mood. Mom who I <strike>confided in</strike> told that I may not be straight. Mom who was the only one in this hell hole we call life that actually gave a single fuck about me and now she’s gone and I feel numb. I feel like if I even try to move on, I’ll feel guilty for even attempting to do that. I feel like there was so much I should have said to her. I feel so useless and pathetic and weak and I know you don’t want to hear about my emotions on a piece of paper but this paper is telling you what I probably won’t. It’s telling you all of the feelings I have right now because this is the only time I’ll be able to sit down and think about Howard and Mom in the past tense without breaking into hysterics. 

To keep a longer idea short, I miss them Rhodey. I guess I’m lucky to have you right? But you won’t be home for another two weeks which means I’m going to have to push through these next few days on my own. 

Honestly? I’m scared shitless Rhodey. I’m scared that I’ll never live up to the legacy Howard left behind. I’m scared that I’ll never stop feeling guilty about their death, I’m scared that there will be a point in my life where I will look back on this day and not be overwhelmed with sadness. You know me Rhodey. You know how I am when it comes to the unknown and everything about this emotional rollercoaster is new to me and I don’t know how to handle it. I guess I wrote this as a way to put down how I feel in a way that is meant to be for the best person in my life but without the intention of actually showing you this.

<strike>Sincerely,</strike>

<strike>Tony Stark</strike>

Note: Edited December 19th, 1991

You’re sleeping right now so I took this opportunity to write this. I don’t know how on earth you got to come back early but I’ve never been more thankful for anything in my entire life. You’re the best person ever. I know I might say it jokingly now but I mean it Rhodey. 

Today you watched me react to my parents' death. I’m not sure how I feel about you knowing that but you’re now the most important person to me that’s alive. And honestly, you’re the only person I actually trust wholeheartedly. I feel like I’m sneaking around writing you this letter but, there are some things I’m just not fully comfortable with sharing with you right now and you respect that and I will never understand how you could be so perfect. You’re here for me when I need you and you’re always going to extra mile to make sure I’m doing okay. I’ve struggled the last three days but when you got here, everything in me wanted to — screamed really — to be happy or to smile and I wasn’t able to do that right away but right before you went to sleep you told a joke and I cracked a laugh. 

I think being around you is my coping mechanism. It’s the one thing I look forward to that helps me continue to push forward. I’m not sure if it’s healthy and I honestly don’t care because as long as you’re here, that’s all that matters. 

It’s funny because when I first started this letter, it was overwhelmingly sad but now as I’m talking about you and your impact in my life, the entire tone has shifted. That’s the effect you have on me Rhodey. I would honestly go so far as to call it a superpower because it takes a lot to be able to do that for other people and yourself simultaneously. 

This is starting to be a tangent and my hand is starting to cramp. I just wanted to say I love you Rhodey. Thank you for being here for me as I’m going through this. You’re the best friend I could ever ask for.

(actually) Sincerely,  
Tony Stark

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is sad. No, I'm not sorry. I'm posting one chapter today and then two chapters next Friday and two chapters the Friday after that. RhodeyTony Month is going to have both angst and fluff from me and right now this piece of angst will be my model work. I really hope you enjoyed the read!


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